Only You

My bookend kids are very similar--both girls, both smart and sassy, and both the only small person around a lot of attention-paying bigger people. I have also spent considerable time worrying for both of them over their only-ness. Will they get enough socialization? Will they be lonely? Will they be indulged to the point of selfishness? That last one is the toughest, I think. You always hear about how bratty only children are, how unpleasant to play with or be around. But is there validity in that? Since it’s been a concern of mine for more than twenty years, and I am an information seeker, I can assure you through examining the child development research that, personal opinions aside, the statistics actually show the opposite to be true: onlies seem to perform better in work, school, and yes, even social situations. It may be due to a monopoly of parent time and resources or it may have something to do with self-reliance, but they turn out all right. And that’s great, but how do I teach an only to share in the meantime? If you are two, and all the toys in sight are yours, it’s hard to get the concept that not all the toys in the world are yours. Which is why we have recently joined two playgroups to figure it out. Slowly, apparently. In Linda Alpozon’s I’ll Share With You, brother and sister learn that working together beats being bored alone. Now if they’d just tell Scarlett.

http://www.paperbackswap.com/Ill-Share-First-Linda-Apolzon/book/0307101665/

http://www.jacketflap.com/persondetail.asp?person=195748