What Little Girls Are Made Of

While waiting for Scarlett, Nick regularly got asked whether he was hoping for a boy or a girl. But people rarely asked me and I think it’s because society expects a more pronounced preference from dads, namely a leaning towards a son to carry on their name, legacy, or something. Now, granted, Nick doesn’t subscribe to most male-centric views, but even he was mystified by the frequency of the question and the responses of disbelief he received to answering that he truly didn’t have a preference either way. And when we got a pretty clear ultrasound picture, the disbelief intensified. Many people were incapable of accepting that a man expecting a child, most likely his one and only child, wouldn’t feel at least some disappointment over getting a Mini Her instead of a Mini Me. And I have to admit that, for a moment, I was one of them. Having grown up in a family and religious tradition of firmly entrenched patriarchy, I felt Nick must be a bit bummed out, even if he was hiding it remarkably well, at not having someone to share all his boyhood stuff with. But that’s where we all went wrong--thinking only a boy could share those things, when nothing could be further from the truth. So, Scarlett wears Spiderman swim trunks, knows Marvel and DC characters on sight, and watches the Ninja Turtles video at naptime. Finding them reading Mary Carey’s “Masters of the Universe” Caverns Of Fear was not surprising. Just normal.

http://www.amazon.com/Masters-Universe-Caverns-Shadows-Knowledge/dp/B0007P6DMM

http://www.librarything.com/author/careymv

Getting To Know You

Ultrasound technology is great for practical reasons during pregnancy--to monitor baby’s growth, stay aware of complications, guide care providers--but I think the impractical psychological benefits are important, too. Even when you’re the pregnant one, the whole thing seems a bit unreal sometimes, but there is nothing like seeing your little prawn-shaped progeny on the screen to provide a reality check of the nicest kind. Not that expectant families who do not have access to ultrasound or choose not to use it are less connected to their babies, it’s just that seeing that tiny heart beating in grainy grey-scale changes things somehow. There is also the chance to wrap your head around what style of little person you’re getting before the emotional pandemonium of the delivery room. When I was pregnant with Connor, for the first six months I thought we were having a girl. Not that I was set on a girl, just somehow anticipated one. When the ultrasound revealed a boy, I had to revamp a bit, including finding a name that wasn’t Kelsey. After trying a whole list of boys’ names, we finally stayed with Connor--but it took me quite awhile to readjust. Imagine how that would have played itself out if I hadn’t had a chance to “meet” Connor on the screen. In Suzanne Williams’ Mommy Doesn’t Know My Name, one little girl gets called all sorts of sweet stuff not on her birth certificate. Maybe her mommy just needed more time to get to know her.

http://www.amazon.com/Mommy-Doesnt-Know-My-Name/dp/0395779790

http://www.suzanne-williams.com/books.html

Where's All My Soul Sisters?

Three months to the day before Addison was born, we learned we were getting a little sister. We crowded into the ultrasound room peering expectantly at grainy, elusive images on the monitor waiting for some confirmation. The technician asked if we had any preference, and we were divided. The boys had either been flexible or non-committal until then, but the girls, eight year-old Keilana and I, were decidedly in girl camp. Keilana so she could have a majority and me so I could give Keilana what I never had--a sister. The technician then asked if we had any guesses. Since I had dreamed Addison into being long before she came to be, we all guessed girl. And the woman with the magic wand said, “You got it!” I went straight out and bought the girliest pink shoes I could find, just to make it real, and looked forward to a little sister for my brood. But change is always a bit unnerving. As I left for the hospital on the day Addison arrived, I looked at my two earthside kids, especially Connor, tiny in the middle of a king-sized bed, and wondered how it would work out. I needn’t have worried. After some typical adjustment, Addison became what she was always meant to be: a necessary part of our family. In Ed Young’s My Mei Mei, Antonia longs for a sister until reality trumps fantasy and she’s not so sure. Thankfully, there’s a no refund, no return policy on sisters.
http://www.amazon.com/My-Mei-Ed-Young/dp/0399243399

http://www.embracingthechild.org/Bookspecialyoung.htm