Anticipation

An experienced expectant-mom friend and I came to the agreement that what you think having a baby is going to be like while waiting for your first bears only the slightest resemblance to what having a baby really turns out to be. Which is not really news, but the things that end up being the most different aren’t what you’d think they’d be. And one of the most surprising realizations is, despite fantasizing over how amazing having a tiny, new creature all to yourself will be--with their sweet smell, precious mews, and bitty toes--that when they first get here, they don’t do a lot of interesting things yet. They are miraculous, true, but the real fun stuff doesn’t start showing up for several months, and the most captivating behavior is still a couple years down the road. I remember worrying during my pregnancy with Keilana how I was going to feel about the baby once she got past the infant stage and became a toddler. The second time around, I fretted about how to get through that helpless infant stage while anticipating the fun and funny toddler age. It works that way for older siblings, too. Everyone in the house is so antsy to get the new baby here and then there’s not much to do with them when they arrive. In Alyssa Satin Capucilli’s Biscuit Wants To Play, our doggie friend can’t wait to play with the new kittens--but they aren’t much fun for awhile. That’s how babies are.

http://www.amazon.com/Biscuit-Wants-Play-First-Read/dp/0064443159

http://www.alyssacapucilli.com/

Getting To Know You

Ultrasound technology is great for practical reasons during pregnancy--to monitor baby’s growth, stay aware of complications, guide care providers--but I think the impractical psychological benefits are important, too. Even when you’re the pregnant one, the whole thing seems a bit unreal sometimes, but there is nothing like seeing your little prawn-shaped progeny on the screen to provide a reality check of the nicest kind. Not that expectant families who do not have access to ultrasound or choose not to use it are less connected to their babies, it’s just that seeing that tiny heart beating in grainy grey-scale changes things somehow. There is also the chance to wrap your head around what style of little person you’re getting before the emotional pandemonium of the delivery room. When I was pregnant with Connor, for the first six months I thought we were having a girl. Not that I was set on a girl, just somehow anticipated one. When the ultrasound revealed a boy, I had to revamp a bit, including finding a name that wasn’t Kelsey. After trying a whole list of boys’ names, we finally stayed with Connor--but it took me quite awhile to readjust. Imagine how that would have played itself out if I hadn’t had a chance to “meet” Connor on the screen. In Suzanne Williams’ Mommy Doesn’t Know My Name, one little girl gets called all sorts of sweet stuff not on her birth certificate. Maybe her mommy just needed more time to get to know her.

http://www.amazon.com/Mommy-Doesnt-Know-My-Name/dp/0395779790

http://www.suzanne-williams.com/books.html