Concentration

Not everyone buys Attention Deficit Disorder as a legitimate diagnosis. Those opposed are very staunch in their belief that all kids are squirmy and you can’t foist the repercussions of inept parenting off on a catchall diagnostic category. We have this…er…”discussion” at my house all the time. I know what the other side thinks. I also know what I know. I know that I have seen the profound impact of fractured attention-paying abilities on my son since he was an infant barely able to sit up. I had not yet heard of ADD then, but I knew that something was very different from the other children I had dealt with about the way this child took in, processed, and applied information. Then, one night I was up late (naturally) and saw the repeat of a show featuring an expert in some newly researched condition and several of his adult subjects. As I watched these grown people tap, snap, bend, and squeeze “focus objects” like rubber balls, while they shifted and leaned in their seats, I knew I was seeing my son in twenty years. And I have been fighting for him ever since. Sammy, the little shark in Nick Ward’s Don’t Eat The Teacher, is having some serious impulse-control issues on his first day of school. He’s so excited, he bites tables, chairs, easels, and the book for story time, but his classmates intervene to help him get a grip before he can bite the teacher. Everybody needs help sometime.

http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Eat-Teacher-Nick-Ward/dp/0439374650

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Can I get an oink, brothers and sisters?

They say the only sure things are death and taxes. Well, they must not have kids. Parents know the one great constant in the universe is that children will memorize every unflattering or inappropriate thing you ever utter--and spout it back verbatim, usually publicly and always accurately. I was standing in front of an open fridge prowling for I-don’t-know-what, and apparently looking as if I might devour the whole lot, when Scarlett came up and asked, “You a pig?” Now, I may have some less than healthy eating habits, and may frequently refer to raiding the pantry as being piggy, but I’ll be darned if I’m going to be called out by a child who has a Pavlovian drooling-dog response to the sound of the Kitchen Aid mixer. When I assured her that no, I wasn’t a pig, she rummaged around on the bottom shelf innocently asking, “I a pig?” I’ve seen the floor after she eats and wasn’t willing to commit to her non-porcine status, so I just told her to scamper away on her little cloven hooves and let me close the door. But it got me thinking about pigs, and manners, and smarty pantses, so it seemed like a good day for reading Nick Ward’s How to be a Practically Perfect Pig to Scarlett and her friend, Joshua. The book lists how to pig it up correctly including leaving your bed rumpled and giving a loud belch after every meal. It’s good advice…if you’re a pig.

http://www.amazon.com/How-Practically-Perfect-Picture-Books/dp/0439998298

http://www.jacketflap.com/persondetail.asp?person=117382