One of the nicest things about having a husband almost two decades younger is that his mom and aunts came with him as ready-made friends. I’m lucky, I know, because it could have gone very differently. Not having any sisters, and getting in-laws who only have sisters, I’m still learning the female sibling dynamic from them. But, being a big sister I know. So Nick’s mom, Becky, who is also the eldest, and I have very similar personalities and social interactions. We both typically take the position that if everyone would just get it together, do their part correctly, and stay out of each other’s way, the world would run much more efficiently--thus, smoothly. Or, more succinctly, if people would just behave like big sisters think they should. Nick’s Aunt Michelle, on the other hand, is a middle-child mediator persona
lity. Even though I don’t quite understand her ways, I admire and even envy them. I’d like to be more like her. And one of the methods I like best is what she calls “skillful means,” a way of finding out what people need and want so that you can provide it when possible and everyone ends up feeling content with the exchange. I have to admit it works, but it’s hard to be patient enough when bossing people around is much faster. In Bruce McMillan’s The Problem With Chickens, Icelandic ladies need eggs and chickens need a place to stay. Once everyone starts working together skillfully, it all works out.http://www.amazon.com/Problem-Chickens-Times-Illustrated-Awards/dp/0618585818
http://www.brucemcmillan.com/
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